new family picture - sept 2006

here is our family pic from nicholas' 2nd birthday party at gymboree...what a huge difference a year makes...nick is bigger and i am smaller....wooooohoooooo.

Family Picture

okay well here is a picture of my lovely little family from July 4th....

1st weekend away coming up...

Okay, well here's the thing....my kid is almost 2 and my husband and i have yet to spend a night alone away from him (mike has been away 2-3 times on sailing races, but i have never left my baby, not even with daddy)

We have planned a weekend away in naples staying at a luxury boutique style hotel on the main drag.....we are going to do dinners, walks to the beach, maybe a carriage ride if they have them, i might get a massage while mike finds something to do.....my point is we will be completely childless.....i'm nervous being without nicholas for 2 whole day and nights but he will be fine at my mom's for the weekend.....

i'm sure it will be weird at first not having him with us, but i think we will get used to the idea and really enjoy our time alone together....i'm looking forward to it.....

i've been told, the more times you do it, the easier it gets.....woooohooooo....better take advantage of the time we have now to get away when we only have the one kid, next year when there are two, i'm not so sure the grandparents will be soooo eager and willing to take them....

Pictures of Nicholas-Fort Edgecomb

okay well it has been a month since i have posted but alot has happened in that time.....we went to maine for 10 days on vacation to visit my dad and family...when we returned our home computer was not working (still not working, but don't get me started) so i haven't really had the time to sit down and do my blog....to top it all off i haven't even had a chance to upload our vacation pictures to the computer to sort through, order and send out by email to family....i decided to attach a few to my blog that i saved on a thumb drive while on vacation...i still have almost 700 in my camera and on my memory card i need to go through....anyway, here are pictures of nicholas on our vacation...

Nicholas looking out of the window at Fort Edgecomb

















Family Pic at Fort Edegcomb


What do you see??? I think he was looking for a moth or butterfly...


Look at this big boy, just walking along all by himself....

Woooohoooo!!!

just wanted to post my great weigh-in this week...i'm down another 4.8lbs and i am at 47.6lbs total, which might as well be 50........i feel great and am actually looking forward to going on vacation this week and staying on program the best i can without jenny craig foods...i will have a loss when i return on 7/3 to jenny craig after being gone 2 weeks...grilled fish, grilled chix, lots of veggies, salads and fruit....i will stay on program and i will do GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!when i come back i will be down at least 50lbs....1/2 way to my goal and even closer to getting ready to become preggers again...need to be down at least 70-75 total before we start trying....i really want to be a somewhat healthy weight this time...get off bp meds and have a good healthy pregnancy (although we didn't really have any problems last time except i gained 35lbs and got up to 260lbs by the time i delivered - i guess i would call that a problem, ha-ha)

not this time...i will be very much under 200 and aim to stay under the whole time i'm preggers.....no need to gain weight since i'll still have some to spare for the baby....

anyway, just wanted to rejoice in my loss...tried on my 24 shorts tonight....holy crap are they big....going to take some pics on july 3rd at jenny craig to show my loss in print.....keep me going....

pictures...

how can it be so hard to keep up with pictures??? i realized yesterday that i have not printed or put into albums one picture since nicholas' 1st birthday in sept 05....almost 9 months ago....holy crap...i have tons of pics in my computer but just have not sat down and sorted through them and sent them out for printing....i must must must do this before the middle of july...set a goal and stick to it.....

New words....

everyday i am amazed by the number of words my kid knows....he will say a word and it takes me a minute to comprehend that he just said something new....saturday we went to lily's prek graduation at a high school auditorium...needless to say, nicholas did not want to sit through the whole ceremony...we let him run up and down the stairs in the dark auditorium....mike chased after him one time when he got to the top and over to the other side....he grabbed him as he went down a row....as he was carrying him back to where we had the stroller, nicholas was yelling/crying out, "myshoe, myshoe" we thought he was saying "juice, juice" since he had been running for so long he must be thirsty...as mike got closer i realized i could see a socked foot and that he was saying, "i lost my shoe, my shoe, my shoe." what a smart friggin kid...mike took him back to the row and there it was stuck in between one of the seats and the next row....what a silly kid....he knew what was up and he tried sooo hard to tell us...thank goodness mommy "speaks" kid language or who knows what would have happened to the missing shoe....i just keep listening and my heart hurts and my eyes tear each time i hear him say a new word....i love it....i think i love it more than watching him sleep....

Friends

i have been in florida for almost 10 years now and am very happy i have been able to expand my circle of friends since i had nicholas.....i joined a mom's group from yahoo of local moms when nicholas was about 2 1/2 months old....one of the members was a neighbor of mine and invited me to join this group called Angelplay....as the last 18 months have passed many members have come and gone and i haven't really had a chance to get to know them....a few have left the area with their families for new starts....some have left because they never felt like they belonged....some have left due to conflict......and the core few that i call my friends have stuck around.....i'm very fortunate to have Brooke, Kara, Deborah and Melissa in my life....i wish i talked to kelly more since we have boys the same age, but she doesn't seem to be around much....i feel like some of the mom's just don't know how to make time for their friends.....i'm always open to meeting new people and would love to expand my circe more....get to know some more great women that i can call friends...this group that i am in has been a life saver for me since i have family here but no friends from work since i work in a small office, no friends from when i was a teacher (lost contact with them all except one who i catch up with every 6 months or so).....i guess the point of my post is to say that i am very happy i found this group of great women and i know that i consider them all friends.....

Slacker or just a busy mom????

why is it in life we find time to get most of the things we have to get done each day, but don't squeeze in 5-10 min to do the things we want to??? i have wanted to post to my blog for weeks but haven't...i have wanted to parafin my feet but haven't....i've wanted to take a bath but haven't...i've wanted to put my husbands huge lot of tshirts that have been sitting in a basket and on the floor and on a nightstand and in the papazan chair in my bedroom for over 4 weeks in piles for goodwill or away in the drawers but haven't.....making up my bed with clean sheets.....posting a freeken message on my mom group's web page......why does not doing these things make me feel like a slacker even though i do so much else during the busy day....i've been exercising pretty regularly during the day for my lunch break...i did a spot clean on my house last weekend, picking up and putting away the essential clutter.....i got the items i sold on ebay shipped out to the highest bidder.....i spend time with my son when we get home from work up until he goes to bed.....i put away the dishes and clean up the kitchen most nights.....long story short, why isn't the day longer? why can't it all get done? and if it can't why can't we as women/people let it go? do the things we want to do and some of the things we need to do and let the rest get done when it gets done???? i have a friend who told me awhile back about how everything has a place and how she puts things away everyday...i noticed the other day that this friend has loosened up on her philosophy and i think she is happier for it....not everything has to get done every day - the world will not come to an end if the newspapers or junk mail stay on the table for one extra day....we don't have to feel like slackers when we don't get it all done...it can't be done....

my climbing monkey who loves the water....

why might you ask is my kid sitting on a coffee table???? well because i can't keep his friggin' feet on the floor....he likes to climb up there and sit......and thinks it is quite comical when we tell him to "get down".....

my kid also loves to play in the water
proof is in the pictures
i can slide the chair up to the sink, give him a spoon, a cup and a small flow of water and he will play for a very long time...fights me when it is time to come down...what a silly boy...don't even think about taking the hose out and turning it on around him if you don't plan on giving it to him to play with...and forget about taking it away to turn off the water....be prepared to put him to bed for a nap cause there is a major temper tantrum coming on when you take the hose away....

Perspective....

okay here's the deal....i've been on Jenny Craig for over 7 months and have lost 42lbs...i was kinda disappointed that i hadn't lost more by now...i just looked back and realize now that at 7 months i had lost 46.5bs on weight watchers in 2001...i only lost 8 more pounds in the next 10 months for a total loss of 54.5 lbs on WW...i guess i'm more on track than i thought i was....i was sure i had lost 50 lbs quicker on ww but now i see that i didn't....and am feeling better about my overall losses so far....i guess i just needed some perspective....the longer it takes me to get it off the longer i plan on keeping it off....the slower it comes off the more like i am to keep it off for good....that's my plan anyway....i'm working on getting over blaming myself for getting to be so heavy....accept it and move on is what i am trying to do...i'm finding that forgiveness of ourselves is very hard to achieve....keeping on keeping on is my goal....1lb at a time, week by week, until i'm where i want to be.....this is my goal and i'm going to make it eventually.....

Easter Egg Hunt

well my lovie can crawl into pretty much any space....














here he is getting an egg during a hunt in our community last saturday afternoon.....he did a great job looking for eggs and didn't stop until we dragged him home at 715 that night after going strong all day long....














and of course - he won't eat good nutritional food, but he's not afraid to chow down on a bag of fritos....

Work!!!!!!

grrrrrr....how can i like my job one day and absolutely hate it the next?????? i swear i feel like dr.jekyll and mr. hyde....i remember mike coming home and being a bear and i just couldn't understand how he just didn't leave that crap at work.....now i'm bringing home my bad days and i hate it.....i feel so overwhelmed at work because there is just toooo much to do.....i have too many hats and i honestly for the first time in my life just don't want to wear them all....i have always been up to the challenge of new things.....now i just want to go back to being the "lowly" administrative assistant, without all the responsibility of the "money" control....i love doing the bookkeeping, but i just feel like i'm not doing it well and if i can't do it well, i don't want to do it.....i feel like i need more training in quickbooks and i don't know how to ask for help.....i feel like i have convinced myself i know what i am doing for so long that i can't get out from under the pile and make things right.....i want to learn and be able to use the program right i just don't know how to get there.....can you say frustrated????????????

Spring then summer....

okay well we have officially started spring....it is starting to get hot here in sunny florida...i'm not looking forward to doing my lunchtime walks in the heat....i just hope the breezes keep up coming of the water...i may have to move my walks over near the beach/ocean so i can have the wind to keep me cool in the spring/summer heat....or i may have to move my walks to after work with nicholas in the stroller at a park....not sure how that will work since he usually eats dinner shortly after we get home...i guess i'll just have to play it by ear and keep walking at lunchtime until it's just too hot to handle.....

"Presents"

Why is it that when we buy something online or from a catalog, while we wait for it to come, it feels like we are getting a present???? i ordered a couple of shirts for me and some shirts and shorts for nicholas from old navy as well as 2 new babies/lovies for nicholas.....nothing fancy, just simple stuff, but when i see the ups guy or the fedex truck or the mail truck go by my office window, i get excited...it is always like that when i order something, i guess it is the anticipation of "finally" getting something you have paid for already and being able to use it....most of the time from the time you place the order till you receive the goods, it is no more than 5 days or so, but it always feels like an eternity....i know it is silly thinking, but i just love "presents"

Kid's driving

Just 14 or so years from now this image will be for real and my baby will be driving.....holy crap, i don't even think i can handle imagining that....there are so many things that scare me ahead....dating, driving, teen pressure, going away to college....okay, okay, i guess i'll get him potty trained first before i start fretting about the distant future....

Being a mom....

i can honestly say i never imagined how wonderful being a mom would feel before i was a mom....
having nicholas is the best thing i have ever done....he is a great baby and i cherish every moment i spend with him....i'm afraid our time is going by so fast - he is growing up so quickly and i'm not getting a chance to remember all of it.....i'm amazed everyday how much he changes - talking, climbing, saying "NO"....he is becoming a little man, not my baby anymore....
what will he be like as a teenager? a grown man?
will he still love his mom as much as he loves me now???
i can't believe i'm even thinking/worrying about this now....he isn't even 2 yet, but i feel like i'm going to miss something great he does....

Ipod

i got my ipod today via ups and have spent the last 2 hours downloading and adding music to walk with tomorrow....i can't wait to go for my walk.....i have 45 min of fast paced/dance music and 15 minutes of slow/cooldown music.....walking has never been so fun !!!!

Sabotage....

i've been thinking about this word for about a week now....and how it pertains to me, especially after the weekend i had....why do we sabotage ourselves when we are on our way to being sucessful and end up failing at what we are trying to accomplish????i was on my way to being successful on Jenny Craig....i have walked consistently over the last 3 weeks and eaten mostly on program....i have to be honest and confess that i have been stopping for BK breakfast on the way to work a couple of times over the last week or so....i swear i feel like a junkie....while i'm eating it, i do not enjoy it, it doesn't taste like i remember/hoped it would, but i just can't help myself...i still pull into the drive thru and order that stupid breakfast value meal, large none the less....i want meet my monthly/10 lb weight loss goals and get to my final goal around September 2006, but i am making myself fail by not staying on the Jenny Craig food program...i had horrible greasy cravings on friday and gave in to them in the worst way....over the weekend i had pizza, chix wings, chinese food, and McDonald's...i had that crap just because i wanted it and i don't know why....i really want to be committed to losing this weight and i have been feeling sooooo good about my losses and reaching each goal....why do i sabotage myself by eating sh*t instead of what is on my menu????i think i need my head examined....

More rewards....

i have always been an instant gratification kinda girl...if i want something i usually just buy it....i am very hard to buy for the holidays because there really isn't anything that i want/need.....well it turns out there is finally something that i really want and need and i am making myself earn it before i get it....i decided to set up an exercise reward.....if i exercise 4 weeks in a row at least 3 times a week for a minimum of 30 minutes each time i can get an IPOD nano on march 9th.....i figured if i am getting an IPOD nano to use while i walk/exercise, i better make sure that i am walking/exercising....i feel awesome....each week i have met my goal and then some, walking about 5 times each week for the last 3 weeks.....i have been talking 40-45 minutes "lunches" to walk along the intracoastal across the bridge in Palm Beach....there is a nice lake path with no car traffic....it is nice to be outside but not have to hear the cars and smell the exhaust....i really enjoy my walks and i can't believe i am half way done each time i get to the place i usually turn around at....the time just flies....i am looking forward to having the IPOD to help keep me moving and give me some "entertainment" while i walk.....i have not been this committed to exercise in i don't know how long....i'm looking forward to my reward.....I wonder what i should set up for the next exercise reward or if just having the IPOD will keep me going anyway...i'll think on that one for a bit....

New haircut

okay so here is my new hair cut...and of course my beautiful baby doing some finger painting this afternoon....what a doll he is....how lucky am i????

1st reward....

okay well, i got my haircut and foil tonight as my reward for being down 30lbs....it is just at my shoulders and a whole lot lighter (weight wise and color wise).....it's weird getting used to a new haircut....we'll see how well i "style it" tomorrow morning when i am rushing to get out the door, but it's okay because it can also be a wash and go style as well.....

i feel better and am very happy i made the change....

Tired......

how can a mom get less than 6 hours of sleep and be able to function, albeit not very well, throughout the day???????nicholas is cutting his canine teeth and has been a crankass since saturday....he woke up last night and when i put him in the bunkbed with me he tossed and turned and slapped me in the face and poke his fingers up my nose and in my mouth....he was a general pain in the butt...now he is sleeping in our bed with daddy and i am exhausted....he would probably sleep for another 3 hours if i let him...

Playhouse Disney

i'm sooooo happy disney has programming appropriate for my toddler....the wiggles, doodlebops, jojo's circus, charlie and lola, higglytown heros, and all the little minishows are perfect for nicholas....when i click by nickelodeon and cartoon network to get down to 59 (disney) i cringe....the crap they have on the other channels makes me angry....it is completely inappropriate for my kid and i'm glad disney has quality programming on their network....although there are a few things later in the day on disney i don't think are right for nicholas, but luckily i'm a parent who is aware of what is on and plan other activities and turn off the TV so he doesn't have to be exposed to them....

Cold Weather - Gone for now

okay well, i know it wasn't as cold as some places but it was definitely cold here the last week....don't get me wrong - i loved it....i get excited when i hear the weatherman say we have a cold front coming through...i look forward to those days when it feels like a fall day in maine...the air actually gets crisp and cool when we have a cold front...we got down into the mid 30s a couple of night....the days were perfect for a nice afternoon walk without getting sweaty from the crappy florida humidity....i hope we get another cold front coming through again soon

haircut.....

why is it so hard to choose a new hair style???? i decided for my 30 lb loss goal to get a foil and a haircut...my hair is just tooo long, i wear it up in a clip everyday, what is the sense of having it past my shoulders????
why can't i find a picture of a cut that i have had or on someone else that i just would love on me????
i have brought this picture with me in the past to my stylist and i even think she did a variation of this cut on me....i always think a cut will look good on me and then it never looks like the picture....i just want a fun and easy style that doesn't take much time or effort in the morning....hmmmmm how come what is on our head is so much harder to decide about than what we put in our face?

breakfast nook

I'm so excited....we finally bought a breakfast nook for our kitchen...it has 2 spaces under the bench seat where we can put the cloth napkins and other things that need to be stored away...we went to the naked wood furniture store last night to pick it up....we are going to leave it natural with poly or a very light stain with poly....we have a round table and chairs in the corner now but i hate having to pull and push it in and out when we use it every day.....now i just have to wait for my perfectionist husband to finish it in my garage before i can start using it....

62.....

it is 48 degrees outside and 62 degrees in my house here in sunny florida.........what the heck.....we had to turn the heat on this morning to get the chill out of the air and it is taking forever........my poor baby is going to have to wear a onsie, pants and a long sleeve shirt today, plus his sweatshirt....he is a florida boy even though momma and daddy are northern kids.....i love the "cold" florida weather we get in the "winter" but come on, 48 degrees....that is a litte much...we are only 20 degrees warmer than where i grew up in MAINE for heaven sake.....like the cool weather but now i wish the "cold" front would move along and give us some warmer weather for a bit....

On the right track again....

I feel sooooo good...i have been on program since thursday and i feel so good...don't get me wrong, i'm defininetly hungry....but i feel my body getting smaller, maybe it is just my mind making me feel that way, but as long as i keep feeling that way, i'm not going to question it....i've been walking, eating right, and drinking my water....changing back to J as my JC consultant has definitely put me in the right frame of mind...not that i didn't like Julie, i just feel more motivated with J for some reason...i'm hoping for a nice drop this week, maybe i'll reach 30lbs down for thursday...that would keep me on track and keep this train moving....if i lose 2.25 lbs a week until the end of september i could actually be very near my goal...i know there may be some ups or plateaus but i feel better now about getting closer to my final goal than i did before.....

Goals:
down 30 lbs total by Feb 23rd
down 40 lbs total by March 30th
down 50 lbs total by April 27th
down 61 lbs total by May 25th

I would like to be 199 by the end of May 2006 - that is about 2.33lbs a week....let's go, let's go......

Sleeping babies

What is it about a sleeping baby that is so peaceful???? i put nicholas down for a nap today at 1145...by 1152 he was in dreamland....i just laid next to him and watched him sleep for a few minutes before heading downstairs....of course he only ended up sleeping for 25 minutes but ohhhhh welll...when i came back up to lay him back down, we laid together for more than a 1/2 an hour...he finally fell asleep again but for only a few minutes....But while i laid with him, he was sooooo peaceful and looked soooo sweet....i could watch him forever after he falls asleep if i didn't have so many things to do.....this afternoon as we headed home from the zoo he fell asleep in his carseat....i knew he would since he had such a short nap earlier....when we got home i just let him lay on my chest for a while before putting him in his crib....i love the way his breathing changes when he is in a deep sleep....having a child is like owning a piece of heaven...i truly feel blessed to have this opportunity to be a mother....

Walking

okay, so here is a question....why do "we" resist walking as exercise....it is so easy to do, not strenuous at all and makes you feel better about yourself afterwards....today i decided to walk to the bank and then onto Burger King in the opposite direction for a soda to go with my lunch....it took me 40 minutes for the whole trip and i felt so good/proud of myself for making the time....why haven't i done this before...what the hell is 20-40 minutes out of my day...i have a treadmill at home, i have to make the time to walk on it....if i put in a 1/2 hour show that i have taped and walk till the end of it, i could get in 20+ minutes of exercise a day...if i put in an hour long show i could get 40+ minutes without the commercials...what the hell is wrong with me....I COMMIT TO WALKING 20+ MINUTES A DAY FOR AT LEAST 3 DAYS A WEEK FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.....whether i do it inside or outside, i must make the time.....

Beautiful Baby Contest

this is the picture that is sent into Regis and Kelly for their beautiful baby contest....i had a hard time picking a picture of nick because he is so active and we take so many pictures but not many of them turn out good so you can see his face well...i would have prefered a smiling pic, but this one is good too....maybe he will be picked or at least shown on tv....i have to tape the show each day to see....

i know everyone thinks their kid is the most beautiful, but i honestly can not believe we have such a beautiful baby, it really makes me wonder what #2 will look like.....

A new day

okay i have had a decent night's sleep...went to bed late but didn't get woken up by nicholas at all, so i'm ready to start fresh today with a better outlook....on program with jenny foods only...drink lots of water....get in 20 minutes of walking.....i'm ready to get back on track and make this new life change work for me.....as i type this, nicholas is in his crib making grunting/groaning noises.....i love it when he wakes up in a good mood and can occupy himself in his crib for abit while we shower and dress....it soooo makes life easier.....

Our Family - Christmas 2005 

Getting back on track....

okay, well i intentionally skipped jenny craig tonight so that i didn't have to go and have another gain or maintain week....i have not been eating on program for a few weeks and i just can't seem to get back on track....i want to lose the weight, i want to do well and be successful, i just don't feel like i can do it right now for some reason....i must recommit to losing this weight and starting to exercise.....i have received some motivation from 2 good friends who are also "battling the bulge" so to speak and i feel better after "talking" to them both.....
BACK ON TRACK.....I'M READY....I HAVE TO BE....