Friday, February 27, 2009

day #3

so i'm on day #3 without soda of any's not been as hard as i thought it would be...dont get me wrong, i miss it, the taste and the fizz of the fountain type, but i have been drinking water and crystal light during the day and at night milk with dinner and then water for the other times...wonder how well my body will respond to the missing beverage - will it give me a boost in the loss department this week?? here's hoping so....

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Who is this big girl??

Really?? she's standing at the sink brushing her teeth before bed??? what is she 5??? goodness how time flies...

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Disappointed or disheartened?? What am I?

depressed or discouraged by the failure of one's hopes or expectation
Synonyms: aghast, balked, beaten, chapfallen, complaining, crestfallen, defeated, depressed, despondent, disconcerted, discontented, discouraged, disenchanted, disgruntled, disillusioned, dissatisfied, distressed, down, down in the dumps, downcast, downhearted, foiled, frustrated, hopeless, objecting, shot down, taken down, thwarted, unhappy, unsatisfied, upset, vanquished, worsted

to shake or destroy the courage or resolution of; dispirit.
Synonyms: abashed, aghast, alarmed, anxious, apprehensive, aroused, blanched, cowardly, cowed, daunted, discouraged, disheartened, dismayed, distressed, disturbed, faint-hearted, frightened, frozen, have cold feet, horrified, in awe, intimidated, nervous, panic-stricken, perplexed, perturbed, petrified, rattled, run scared, scared, scared stiff, scared to death, shocked, spooked, startled, stunned, suspicious, terrified, terror-stricken, timid, timorous, trembling, upset, worried

i'm not sure how i am, what i feel, i just can't put my finger on the word....
so without going into details, i'm struggling with news i received yesterday about someone i love very much....i don't understand how it got this far out of control....i dont understand how i didn't know....i don't understand how i could have missed this....i don't understand the choices made when in the past circumstances have been sooooo different....i just don't understand why?????

i guess i will be struggling with these questions until someone wants to talk to me about what happened and until then, i will have to put it out of my head, because it just makes me too sad to even think about the situation that has developed.....i am truly sad about this, to the center of me and i just don't get it??????

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Book of Emma

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Lent - 40 days without soda...

Lent is the season of preparation before Easter beginning on Ash Wednesday and ending on Holy Thursday. Lent is a time of reconciliation. A time when we make space in our lives to think about our relationship with our heavenly Father and the ways in which we are responding or failing to respond to his love and care for us.

How does that equate to me giving up soda??? Okay so I have wanted to give up soda for a while is not good for me, I drink too much and even my kids now seem to be headed to junkie status even though they only have sips here and there...anyway, with lent starting today, I started thinking that maybe this is the perfect time to "give up" my vice - diet coke is my one true bad habit.

I think I remember participating in Lent while in college and definitely before that when I lived at home and went to the Catholic church each Sunday with my family. Back then Lent meant "giving up candy" or "giving up a favorite show" in sacrifice. But now after doing a little reading online I realize it is about self-discipline, a season of penance, reflection and fasting. Giving up soda is not a sacrifice. It is for the betterment of me so how can that be bad?

Friday, February 13, 2009

Journey - Month 2 - February 09

Today - 2/13/09
1. What I had for lunch today: left over spag w/meat sauce and a salad w/blush wine vinagrette
2. Something I apologized for: making brooke wait for me to go walking tonight
3. The last person I thanked: jeff for picking up the stuff for michael at work
4. The last movie I watched: we watched the bee movie in two sittings
5. My favorite song right now: still like bleeding love by leona lewis...i don't get to listen to the radio that much with the kids in the car and when i listen to my ipod it is the same dance music for exercise
6. Where I ate out last: sweet tomatos lunch w/the girls - salad & baked potato
7. What I'm wearing right now: gym pants, sweaty boothbay harbor tshirt
8. What made me laugh: tickling emma before bed
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: mike on my way home from walking with Brooke
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: mike, i hope we get some alone time tonight ;)

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

new "pose" for my next wall collage

so after looking through pictures taken in 2007, i noticed several of nick and i from the back holding hands walking away from mike who was taking the picture...i picked out the best 6 and put them together in a photo collage frame...anyway, when i did it, Emma was like 6 months old or so and i remember thinking and actually saying maybe that i couldn't wait until Emma was walking and i could do a new collage of mommy holding hands with one child while the child held hands with the other child...anyway, i found my first picture like that in recent pics taken at Disney...i asked mike to be on a look out for that shot when we go places and he saw it and captured it...i can't wait to make more memories just like this one....