a rant of sorts....Toddlers & Tiaras

i have already posted about this on facebook and gone "off" on my husband about it, but i just don't seem to be able to let it go......
there is this stupid show on TLC that just started it's second season called Toddlers and Tiaras and i for the life of me can not understand HOW/WHY the programming on this show is allowed on television let alone HOW/WHY these stupid parents are allowed to put their kids/daughters in this crap they call Pageant work....
i do not understand how a grown adult could dress their child like a stripper, hooker, whore, with a face full of makeup and hair up to the skies with trampy slutty outfits on doing sexy dance moves on a stage for a freakin tiara/crown/prize...
I JUST DO NOT GET IT!!!!
it infuriates me more and more even as i type this post....what are they thinking??? these girls look sooooooo awful and they could be soooo beautiful if they would be able to just grow, develop and be kids....4 year olds wearing more makeup and hairspray than i have ever even put on my face/hair in my 36+ years.....
AWFUL...
okay i'm done, i'll let it go...i just dont get it and that is what bothers me the most...

Journey - Month 7 - July 09

Today - 7/14/09
1. What I had for lunch today: lean cuisine lasagna, salad w/lt italian dressing, fruit salad (watermelon, blueberries, strawberries)
2. Something I apologized for: to mike for being home so late last night from the mall with the kids (haircuts, new shoes and dinner for them brought us home way past 830 which made our dinner after 9 once they were in bed)
3. The last person I thanked: mike for making dinner tonight
4. The last movie I watched: Horton Hears a Who
5. My favorite song right now: the climb by miley cyrus
6. Where I ate out last: fon shaun's take out
7. What I'm wearing right now: dark grey exercise pants, race for the cure tshirt (heading on the treadmill)
8. What made me laugh: emma climbing in the back window of mike's car while i was moving and readjusting his car seats
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: mike saying i was on my way to get nick
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: me, get on the treadmill girlie, get off the computer...

the climb.....

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,
cause

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Somebody you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
Whoaaa Ohwaoooh

Journey - Month 6 - June 09

Today - 6/14/09
1. What I had for lunch today: chix salad w/grapes, apples & shredded carrots over lettuce, baked bbq lays
2. Something I apologized for: gonna apologize to mike when i get downstairs for taking so long
3. The last person I thanked: mom and jim for watching the kids so i could go exercise
4. The last movie I watched: Bolt
5. My favorite song right now: halo still by beyonce
6. Where I ate out last: we had rosalita's tex mex last night (it was takeout)
7. What I'm wearing right now: black exercise pants, grey tshirt
8. What made me laugh: my kids, i can't think of a specific thing that was the most recent event but i laugh with them every day
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: mike telling him i was on my way home with the kids from mom's after exercising
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: me, can i really commit to 5 days of exercise this week and can i write down all my food and make the right choices AGAIN????????

Journey - Month 5 - May 09

Today - 5/13/09
1. What I had for lunch today: chix quesadilla from JFK airport
2. Something I apologized for: honestly i'm wracking my brain here, i can not think of anything right now
3. The last person I thanked: sarah for moving pak n play in the closet for emma
4. The last movie I watched: Earth
5. My favorite song right now: Halo by Beyonce
6. Where I ate out last: chili's
7. What I'm wearing right now: pj's and a tank
8. What made me laugh: kid's playing/running around
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: my sister sarah
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: nick, hope he does okay upstairs tonight at sarah's in the bedroom alone

Journey - Month 4 - April 09

Today - 4/14/09
1. What I had for lunch today: lean cuisine cheese french bread pizza, sliced cukes w/balsamic vin, carrots w/lt ranch dressing
2. Something I apologized for: to mike for coming home so late from work
3. The last person I thanked: mike for picking the kids up at school when i usually do
4. The last movie I watched: the 2nd half of forgetting sarah marshall
5. My favorite song right now: i'm yours by Jason Mraz
6. Where I ate out last: toojay's lunch with danielle from bunco more than 2wks ago
7. What I'm wearing right now: mike's boxer briefs, white tank top
8. What made me laugh: emma playing with her babies in their stroller and her shopping cart
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: my mom
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: my boss, i hope what i stayed late to finish for him was what/how he wanted it....i'm taking a personal day tomorrow and really hope when i walk in thurs there isn't attitude about me being off wed

40 days...

okay so in 1/2 hour i will have been 40 full days without a drop, a sip, a drink of soda...not one in 40 days...
NOW WHAT???
1. do i go back to what i was doing? drinking wayyyyy too many oz each day....
2. do i become a casual soda drinker like i probably should have been all along? have diet with a special meal....
3. do i just stay soda free forever??? can i do that??? do i really need to????

i'm thinking option #2....i miss it but i've done fine without it-so as long as i don't go back into my bad old habits of excessively drinking soda, i think the occasional diet coke will not kill me...

seriously didnt think i could do it...i have to say i am very proud of myself for sticking to my commitment....
good job girlie :)

another month has passed in 2009....

okay so it is officially april 1st. holy crap we are 1/3 of the way thru 2009. how can that be??? emma is 18 months and nick is 4 1/2 - seriously when did time start moving so quickly...

emma is saying more and more words everyday, including i love you...it just melts my heart when i hear her say it...the other night i was laying with her at the condo getting her quiet before putting her in the pack n play for the night, i whispered to her, "i love you" and around her binkie she said it back to me, so i said it again, "i love you" and she said it back to me again, i kept saying it like 5 times just to see if she would keep saying it back to me and she did everytime.... it made me smile and tear up at the same time...what a big girl...oh and of course everytime we drive by a lake or a pond or a fountain, she says "WAAATERRRRR"

nick amazes me each day with how smart he is - mike and i laugh constantly at the things that he comes up with - while watching the lost world (Jurassic Park 2) last night he said, "they're going down!!!" about the dinosaurs taking out the people or the city or something, it was very funny...

i only have 5 more days of my 40 days without soda...can't say that i am not craving it but i can honestly say i have not had one sip, not one single sip of soda in the last 35 days...dont get me wrong i have momentary lapses where i have said WTF just get a soda, but i have not!!!! i'm looking forward to enjoying a big diet coke from a fountain when "my time is up" :) but i will not go back to being a REGULAR soda drinker as the whole purpose of me giving it up was to make better choices for my body....

frustrated???? discouraged??? why????

okay it's another one of those days....what am i??? how am i feeling???? why do "bad" things happen to good people???? why when people work so hard in life do they constantly seem to be shut down??? why does one person seem to have such horrible luck with work??? why can't he catch a break??? why does he have to feel like this so often when it hurts him so badly????
i just cant get past the fact there are so many people who don't care about working and then there he is, wanting to work, wanting to provide for his family, wanting to be in a job he likes but at this point willing to do what needs to be done to provide for his family...whyyyyy can't he just catch a break? why can't he find that one perfect job to make him happy and allow him to provide for his family, make him feel successful??? is that really too much to ask???

WTF is all i have to say right now - WTF???? give us a break

Journey - Month 3 - March 09

Today - 3/13/09
1. What I am having for lunch today: sausage/rice/spinach soup, salad, fruit
2. Something I apologized for: not calling Sarah back this morning after her text message last night
3. The last person I thanked: Jeff for agreeing to run to office depot for me to get ink for the fax machine...don't know how i ran out...oh yeah i do - we cut back on office supplies LOL
4. The last movie I watched: he's just not that into you w/Brooke and Mel ( i seriously had to rack my brain and google recent movies online to remember that - sad, very sad)
5. My favorite song right now: love story by Taylor Swift
6. Where I ate out last: salad and soup from NYPD w/the kids last Friday after the gym
7. What I'm wearing right now: jean capris, green work polo, brown flip flops
8. What made me laugh: taking pictures of myself in the mirror last night..how silly do i feel doing that :)
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: my sister Sarah
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: Sarah's sister in law who has no idea her new husband of less than a year is a serious drug addict and drug dealer...everyone knows but heather and it is really sad that no one has the courage to tell her the truth...