Tuesday, January 06, 2009

work stresses....

not sure if people see me the same way i think i set out to be....does that make sense?? but i do not hold stress for a very long period of time...if something is bothering me, i usually talk it out and then let it go, mostly, depending on what it really is of course...with that being said, i never really have "complained" about work - well not for the most part...BUT for about a year or so i have really been struggling with my job and how to deal with the stresses of how my boss runs HIS company....i am constantly stealing from peter to pay paul and i just don't know if i can keep doing this...i have worked for my boss for over 8 1/2 years - almost as long as i have been with Mike and it is hard even thinking about going somewhere else, but i don't know how to do my job when i struggle sooo much everyday with what i am doing....cash flow is so low right now, i'm making payments later than they should be made, i'm getting calls from trades asking for money i don't have to pay to them, i was giving my boss money left and right last year for his own personal use and now it is to a point that i have TOLD him, no more, i have no more to give and i am now personally suffering/effected by his frivolous spending to the point that we had to let go my "assistant" and i have more work/responsibilities, i did not get a raise this year, i did not get a christmas bonus like i have every year, and the company is not contributing $ to my health savings account to cover my $3,000 insurance deductible for now anyway....so essentially i am taking a pay cut- getting a demotion so to speak with the extra work and less benefits...it really pisses me off and i just feel resentment towards my boss every time i think about allllll the extra payroll he took last year that should have been available to the company to keep us comfortable for the coming year....instead he lives a fuc*ing palm beach lifestyle when he should be living a west palm beach one....mike and i talk all the time about how we would live our life with the money my boss and his (non-working but on the payroll) wife bring home every week...man we would be in hog heaven....granted the more you make the more you are taxed but come onnnnnnn - seriously - budget - budget - budget....no amount of moving $ around is going to make money that is not there be there......so in closing, i am struggling, because i seriously do not keep this shit with me usually and just don't know how much longer i can hold on....it is wearing my ass down....seriously down....

2 comments:

Melissa said...

I'm not sure how to respond except that maybe if you just put feelers out there, something might come up.

It can be stressful working for someone who doesn't know how to run their own business....keep your head up and just do what you are able to each day. Remember you are only one person.

Denise said...

thanks melissa...it is just getting tough...