work stresses....

not sure if people see me the same way i think i set out to be....does that make sense?? but i do not hold stress for a very long period of time...if something is bothering me, i usually talk it out and then let it go, mostly, depending on what it really is of course...with that being said, i never really have "complained" about work - well not for the most part...BUT for about a year or so i have really been struggling with my job and how to deal with the stresses of how my boss runs HIS company....i am constantly stealing from peter to pay paul and i just don't know if i can keep doing this...i have worked for my boss for over 8 1/2 years - almost as long as i have been with Mike and it is hard even thinking about going somewhere else, but i don't know how to do my job when i struggle sooo much everyday with what i am doing....cash flow is so low right now, i'm making payments later than they should be made, i'm getting calls from trades asking for money i don't have to pay to them, i was giving my boss money left and right last year for his own personal use and now it is to a point that i have TOLD him, no more, i have no more to give and i am now personally suffering/effected by his frivolous spending to the point that we had to let go my "assistant" and i have more work/responsibilities, i did not get a raise this year, i did not get a christmas bonus like i have every year, and the company is not contributing $ to my health savings account to cover my $3,000 insurance deductible for now anyway....so essentially i am taking a pay cut- getting a demotion so to speak with the extra work and less benefits...it really pisses me off and i just feel resentment towards my boss every time i think about allllll the extra payroll he took last year that should have been available to the company to keep us comfortable for the coming year....instead he lives a fuc*ing palm beach lifestyle when he should be living a west palm beach one....mike and i talk all the time about how we would live our life with the money my boss and his (non-working but on the payroll) wife bring home every week...man we would be in hog heaven....granted the more you make the more you are taxed but come onnnnnnn - seriously - budget - budget - budget....no amount of moving $ around is going to make money that is not there be there......so in closing, i am struggling, because i seriously do not keep this shit with me usually and just don't know how much longer i can hold on....it is wearing my ass down....seriously down....