Work!!!!!!

grrrrrr....how can i like my job one day and absolutely hate it the next?????? i swear i feel like dr.jekyll and mr. hyde....i remember mike coming home and being a bear and i just couldn't understand how he just didn't leave that crap at work.....now i'm bringing home my bad days and i hate it.....i feel so overwhelmed at work because there is just toooo much to do.....i have too many hats and i honestly for the first time in my life just don't want to wear them all....i have always been up to the challenge of new things.....now i just want to go back to being the "lowly" administrative assistant, without all the responsibility of the "money" control....i love doing the bookkeeping, but i just feel like i'm not doing it well and if i can't do it well, i don't want to do it.....i feel like i need more training in quickbooks and i don't know how to ask for help.....i feel like i have convinced myself i know what i am doing for so long that i can't get out from under the pile and make things right.....i want to learn and be able to use the program right i just don't know how to get there.....can you say frustrated????????????

Spring then summer....

okay well we have officially started spring....it is starting to get hot here in sunny florida...i'm not looking forward to doing my lunchtime walks in the heat....i just hope the breezes keep up coming of the water...i may have to move my walks over near the beach/ocean so i can have the wind to keep me cool in the spring/summer heat....or i may have to move my walks to after work with nicholas in the stroller at a park....not sure how that will work since he usually eats dinner shortly after we get home...i guess i'll just have to play it by ear and keep walking at lunchtime until it's just too hot to handle.....

"Presents"

Why is it that when we buy something online or from a catalog, while we wait for it to come, it feels like we are getting a present???? i ordered a couple of shirts for me and some shirts and shorts for nicholas from old navy as well as 2 new babies/lovies for nicholas.....nothing fancy, just simple stuff, but when i see the ups guy or the fedex truck or the mail truck go by my office window, i get excited...it is always like that when i order something, i guess it is the anticipation of "finally" getting something you have paid for already and being able to use it....most of the time from the time you place the order till you receive the goods, it is no more than 5 days or so, but it always feels like an eternity....i know it is silly thinking, but i just love "presents"

Kid's driving

Just 14 or so years from now this image will be for real and my baby will be driving.....holy crap, i don't even think i can handle imagining that....there are so many things that scare me ahead....dating, driving, teen pressure, going away to college....okay, okay, i guess i'll get him potty trained first before i start fretting about the distant future....

Being a mom....

i can honestly say i never imagined how wonderful being a mom would feel before i was a mom....
having nicholas is the best thing i have ever done....he is a great baby and i cherish every moment i spend with him....i'm afraid our time is going by so fast - he is growing up so quickly and i'm not getting a chance to remember all of it.....i'm amazed everyday how much he changes - talking, climbing, saying "NO"....he is becoming a little man, not my baby anymore....
what will he be like as a teenager? a grown man?
will he still love his mom as much as he loves me now???
i can't believe i'm even thinking/worrying about this now....he isn't even 2 yet, but i feel like i'm going to miss something great he does....

Ipod

i got my ipod today via ups and have spent the last 2 hours downloading and adding music to walk with tomorrow....i can't wait to go for my walk.....i have 45 min of fast paced/dance music and 15 minutes of slow/cooldown music.....walking has never been so fun !!!!

Sabotage....

i've been thinking about this word for about a week now....and how it pertains to me, especially after the weekend i had....why do we sabotage ourselves when we are on our way to being sucessful and end up failing at what we are trying to accomplish????i was on my way to being successful on Jenny Craig....i have walked consistently over the last 3 weeks and eaten mostly on program....i have to be honest and confess that i have been stopping for BK breakfast on the way to work a couple of times over the last week or so....i swear i feel like a junkie....while i'm eating it, i do not enjoy it, it doesn't taste like i remember/hoped it would, but i just can't help myself...i still pull into the drive thru and order that stupid breakfast value meal, large none the less....i want meet my monthly/10 lb weight loss goals and get to my final goal around September 2006, but i am making myself fail by not staying on the Jenny Craig food program...i had horrible greasy cravings on friday and gave in to them in the worst way....over the weekend i had pizza, chix wings, chinese food, and McDonald's...i had that crap just because i wanted it and i don't know why....i really want to be committed to losing this weight and i have been feeling sooooo good about my losses and reaching each goal....why do i sabotage myself by eating sh*t instead of what is on my menu????i think i need my head examined....

More rewards....

i have always been an instant gratification kinda girl...if i want something i usually just buy it....i am very hard to buy for the holidays because there really isn't anything that i want/need.....well it turns out there is finally something that i really want and need and i am making myself earn it before i get it....i decided to set up an exercise reward.....if i exercise 4 weeks in a row at least 3 times a week for a minimum of 30 minutes each time i can get an IPOD nano on march 9th.....i figured if i am getting an IPOD nano to use while i walk/exercise, i better make sure that i am walking/exercising....i feel awesome....each week i have met my goal and then some, walking about 5 times each week for the last 3 weeks.....i have been talking 40-45 minutes "lunches" to walk along the intracoastal across the bridge in Palm Beach....there is a nice lake path with no car traffic....it is nice to be outside but not have to hear the cars and smell the exhaust....i really enjoy my walks and i can't believe i am half way done each time i get to the place i usually turn around at....the time just flies....i am looking forward to having the IPOD to help keep me moving and give me some "entertainment" while i walk.....i have not been this committed to exercise in i don't know how long....i'm looking forward to my reward.....I wonder what i should set up for the next exercise reward or if just having the IPOD will keep me going anyway...i'll think on that one for a bit....