frustrated???? discouraged??? why????

okay it's another one of those days....what am i??? how am i feeling???? why do "bad" things happen to good people???? why when people work so hard in life do they constantly seem to be shut down??? why does one person seem to have such horrible luck with work??? why can't he catch a break??? why does he have to feel like this so often when it hurts him so badly????
i just cant get past the fact there are so many people who don't care about working and then there he is, wanting to work, wanting to provide for his family, wanting to be in a job he likes but at this point willing to do what needs to be done to provide for his family...whyyyyy can't he just catch a break? why can't he find that one perfect job to make him happy and allow him to provide for his family, make him feel successful??? is that really too much to ask???

WTF is all i have to say right now - WTF???? give us a break

Journey - Month 3 - March 09

Today - 3/13/09
1. What I am having for lunch today: sausage/rice/spinach soup, salad, fruit
2. Something I apologized for: not calling Sarah back this morning after her text message last night
3. The last person I thanked: Jeff for agreeing to run to office depot for me to get ink for the fax machine...don't know how i ran out...oh yeah i do - we cut back on office supplies LOL
4. The last movie I watched: he's just not that into you w/Brooke and Mel ( i seriously had to rack my brain and google recent movies online to remember that - sad, very sad)
5. My favorite song right now: love story by Taylor Swift
6. Where I ate out last: salad and soup from NYPD w/the kids last Friday after the gym
7. What I'm wearing right now: jean capris, green work polo, brown flip flops
8. What made me laugh: taking pictures of myself in the mirror last night..how silly do i feel doing that :)
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: my sister Sarah
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: Sarah's sister in law who has no idea her new husband of less than a year is a serious drug addict and drug dealer...everyone knows but heather and it is really sad that no one has the courage to tell her the truth...

proud of myself...

okay so we are only 3 1/2 months into the year...but i have to say i am very proud of myself and my commitment to my photo blog...i may not get the pics up everyday but i take them and save them and do them in batches no more than a week past when they were taken....i really am enjoying it and look forward to each day as they come...

Time guilt...

why when I take time for me do I always feel compelled to squeeze in mom duty stuff and then feel so guilty for leaving my kids too long with the grandparents? they watched them sat afternoon for me so i could go exercise and get some groceries...i ended up doing those things and grabbed a mani/pedi to boot....i told them it was going to be like 2 hours or so but it ended up being just over 3 and i got panicked that they were going to be annoyed i was taking too long, even though they both told me they didn't have plans and when i checked in reassured me that the kids were fine, not to worry.....They are so wonderful in offering to watch the kids and take them pretty much whenever i ask, so I'm not sure why i always worry that I'm having the kids overstay their welcome so to speak....i guess i just have to work on letting it go as it seems mommy guilt just comes with the job, not really any way to avoid it overall....

Wow, it's been 8 days already - only 32 days left...

so i honestly can not believe i have made it since last tuesday night without a soda...not one sip...nothing....i am seriously shocked...now being truthful there have been times in the last week i have wanted one very badly but it is mostly when i am eating something that just goes better with a soda, chinese or pizza....thinking about drinking water with some foods just doesn't jive with me...anyway, i picked up a case of flavored water at BJ's last weekend and have become rather fond of the taste of all the flavors...i prefer the raspberry and tropical fruit splash but the strawberry-kiwi and orange are good too...and NOOOOOOOO these are not carbonated waters, FLAT water with fruit flavoring...still zero calories with 50mg of sodium but much better than plain water...anyway, i'm sticking with it....i'm thinking i'll make it to the end of the 40 days just fine but when lent is over i will drink soda on occasion again...nothing like what i was drinking - DAILY - several several several OZ a day - always running thru the drivethru to get a big diet coke....a soda with take out or an occasional big diet coke from chik-fil-a will now become a treat, reward if you will for a job well done....