Journey - Month 8 - Aug 09

Today - 8/17/09
1. What I had for lunch today: healthy choice pot roast, cuke w/balsamic vinager
2. Something I apologized for: to mike for forgetting to the pot roast in the crock pot this morning for dinner - duh....
3. The last person I thanked: Sarah for her opinion on birthday party things...
4. The last movie I watched: The Ugly Truth
5. My favorite song right now: halo by beyonce
6. Where I ate out last: fon shan's take out
7. What I'm wearing right now: mike's boxer briefs, turquoise tank top
8. What made me laugh: emma screaming at the top of her lungs for mike who was putting the garbage out
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: mike saying i was in the driveway :)
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: mike asleep on the couch, should i try to wake him and get him up to bed when i go???

another kid....another night of interrupted sleep

okay so i'm racking my brain trying to remember when nick started this waking up in the middle of the night horseshit...emma has been doing it for about 2 weeks now where she will wake up and cry for us to come to her...if we go to comfort her by rubbing her back or quietly reassuring her that we are just in the other room sleeping she calms down....BUT the second we start to walk away from her crib she starts SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF....i don't mean just regular crying, i mean screaming bloody murder....we know it is a control thing and she just wants us to stay with her but i just don't think it is a good thing to get started in that "bad" habit....i remember clearly laying/sleeping on nick's floor when he was still in his crib before we had the bunk beds in his room, just to get him to stop crying.....i CAN'T do that again....i'm at my wits end because i don't want to give emma different treatment but isn't that parenthood? learning from your past experiences/mistakes????

i just wish she would have continued being the model sleeper
regular night time routine of play, dinner, tub, jammies, books/play, snuggle in our bed w/tv or in the glider in her room in the dark, "emma you ready for your crib?" "yes mommy, my bed", put her to bed, she rubs her feet along the sheet and snuggles into her mattress with her taggie blankets by her face, holding the green tag, sleep thru the night and call/cry to us in the morning around 6am....ohhhhhh what i wouldn't give to go back to that.....we jinxed ourselves by complaining about her "early" awakening at 6am....ohhhhhh to go back to being able to sleep all night and get up at 6AM....

oh and on top of the issues with emma's sleeping changes, nick is getting up at least once a night to come get me to take him to go pee....i'm getting like 4-5 hours of sleep a night....

a rant of sorts....Toddlers & Tiaras

i have already posted about this on facebook and gone "off" on my husband about it, but i just don't seem to be able to let it go......
there is this stupid show on TLC that just started it's second season called Toddlers and Tiaras and i for the life of me can not understand HOW/WHY the programming on this show is allowed on television let alone HOW/WHY these stupid parents are allowed to put their kids/daughters in this crap they call Pageant work....
i do not understand how a grown adult could dress their child like a stripper, hooker, whore, with a face full of makeup and hair up to the skies with trampy slutty outfits on doing sexy dance moves on a stage for a freakin tiara/crown/prize...
I JUST DO NOT GET IT!!!!
it infuriates me more and more even as i type this post....what are they thinking??? these girls look sooooooo awful and they could be soooo beautiful if they would be able to just grow, develop and be kids....4 year olds wearing more makeup and hairspray than i have ever even put on my face/hair in my 36+ years.....
AWFUL...
okay i'm done, i'll let it go...i just dont get it and that is what bothers me the most...

Journey - Month 7 - July 09

Today - 7/14/09
1. What I had for lunch today: lean cuisine lasagna, salad w/lt italian dressing, fruit salad (watermelon, blueberries, strawberries)
2. Something I apologized for: to mike for being home so late last night from the mall with the kids (haircuts, new shoes and dinner for them brought us home way past 830 which made our dinner after 9 once they were in bed)
3. The last person I thanked: mike for making dinner tonight
4. The last movie I watched: Horton Hears a Who
5. My favorite song right now: the climb by miley cyrus
6. Where I ate out last: fon shaun's take out
7. What I'm wearing right now: dark grey exercise pants, race for the cure tshirt (heading on the treadmill)
8. What made me laugh: emma climbing in the back window of mike's car while i was moving and readjusting his car seats
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: mike saying i was on my way to get nick
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: me, get on the treadmill girlie, get off the computer...

the climb.....

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,
cause

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Somebody you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
Whoaaa Ohwaoooh

Journey - Month 6 - June 09

Today - 6/14/09
1. What I had for lunch today: chix salad w/grapes, apples & shredded carrots over lettuce, baked bbq lays
2. Something I apologized for: gonna apologize to mike when i get downstairs for taking so long
3. The last person I thanked: mom and jim for watching the kids so i could go exercise
4. The last movie I watched: Bolt
5. My favorite song right now: halo still by beyonce
6. Where I ate out last: we had rosalita's tex mex last night (it was takeout)
7. What I'm wearing right now: black exercise pants, grey tshirt
8. What made me laugh: my kids, i can't think of a specific thing that was the most recent event but i laugh with them every day
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: mike telling him i was on my way home with the kids from mom's after exercising
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: me, can i really commit to 5 days of exercise this week and can i write down all my food and make the right choices AGAIN????????

Journey - Month 5 - May 09

Today - 5/13/09
1. What I had for lunch today: chix quesadilla from JFK airport
2. Something I apologized for: honestly i'm wracking my brain here, i can not think of anything right now
3. The last person I thanked: sarah for moving pak n play in the closet for emma
4. The last movie I watched: Earth
5. My favorite song right now: Halo by Beyonce
6. Where I ate out last: chili's
7. What I'm wearing right now: pj's and a tank
8. What made me laugh: kid's playing/running around
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: my sister sarah
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: nick, hope he does okay upstairs tonight at sarah's in the bedroom alone

Journey - Month 4 - April 09

Today - 4/14/09
1. What I had for lunch today: lean cuisine cheese french bread pizza, sliced cukes w/balsamic vin, carrots w/lt ranch dressing
2. Something I apologized for: to mike for coming home so late from work
3. The last person I thanked: mike for picking the kids up at school when i usually do
4. The last movie I watched: the 2nd half of forgetting sarah marshall
5. My favorite song right now: i'm yours by Jason Mraz
6. Where I ate out last: toojay's lunch with danielle from bunco more than 2wks ago
7. What I'm wearing right now: mike's boxer briefs, white tank top
8. What made me laugh: emma playing with her babies in their stroller and her shopping cart
9. The last person I spoke to on the phone: my mom
10. Someone I'm thinking of right now: my boss, i hope what i stayed late to finish for him was what/how he wanted it....i'm taking a personal day tomorrow and really hope when i walk in thurs there isn't attitude about me being off wed

40 days...

okay so in 1/2 hour i will have been 40 full days without a drop, a sip, a drink of soda...not one in 40 days...
NOW WHAT???
1. do i go back to what i was doing? drinking wayyyyy too many oz each day....
2. do i become a casual soda drinker like i probably should have been all along? have diet with a special meal....
3. do i just stay soda free forever??? can i do that??? do i really need to????

i'm thinking option #2....i miss it but i've done fine without it-so as long as i don't go back into my bad old habits of excessively drinking soda, i think the occasional diet coke will not kill me...

seriously didnt think i could do it...i have to say i am very proud of myself for sticking to my commitment....
good job girlie :)

another month has passed in 2009....

okay so it is officially april 1st. holy crap we are 1/3 of the way thru 2009. how can that be??? emma is 18 months and nick is 4 1/2 - seriously when did time start moving so quickly...

emma is saying more and more words everyday, including i love you...it just melts my heart when i hear her say it...the other night i was laying with her at the condo getting her quiet before putting her in the pack n play for the night, i whispered to her, "i love you" and around her binkie she said it back to me, so i said it again, "i love you" and she said it back to me again, i kept saying it like 5 times just to see if she would keep saying it back to me and she did everytime.... it made me smile and tear up at the same time...what a big girl...oh and of course everytime we drive by a lake or a pond or a fountain, she says "WAAATERRRRR"

nick amazes me each day with how smart he is - mike and i laugh constantly at the things that he comes up with - while watching the lost world (Jurassic Park 2) last night he said, "they're going down!!!" about the dinosaurs taking out the people or the city or something, it was very funny...

i only have 5 more days of my 40 days without soda...can't say that i am not craving it but i can honestly say i have not had one sip, not one single sip of soda in the last 35 days...dont get me wrong i have momentary lapses where i have said WTF just get a soda, but i have not!!!! i'm looking forward to enjoying a big diet coke from a fountain when "my time is up" :) but i will not go back to being a REGULAR soda drinker as the whole purpose of me giving it up was to make better choices for my body....